Monica Blake, 39, always dreamed of being a mother but was indifferent about being a wife. Monica Blake’s fiancé proposed over dessert. It makes sense, because by age 35, 40, 50 and beyond, you likely know exactly what you want and don’t want in a relationship. Pew research reports that remarriage is on the rise in the U.S., noting that 20% of people who walk down the aisle are doing it for a second time - and another 20% of weddings feature two people who have been married once before.
Our story of finding a second love is a joyous one, but it’s not particularly unique. My wife and I have matching tattoos on our arms that read “Something Like This.” It’s the title of and lyrics from a Gordi song, a reminder that our love was the something we’d been waiting for. Like me, she was just settling into the idea of never finding the perfect partner with whom to experience all of life’s remaining adventures. My new wife had also been married once before and was about to flip the calendar to the big 4-0 when we met. I found someone who loves with vigor and looks at me with eyes that comfort me. I had found my person, the one who I’m supposed to be with forever, someone who truly sees me and appreciates the ways in which I show love. But then it all happened in a flurry: I swiped right, and so did she, and in a little over a year we were married.
After three weeks had passed with no luck at all, I resigned myself to being alone for the duration of my second act. My intention was to be my true self, earnest and honest to a fault, and to see if anyone out there might find that endearing, and me attractive.
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